Sometimes I can't help feeling that life's pretty unfair. Every time I feel restricted by financial matters, I would think: hey, those kids born with a silver spoon, or even kids born into a normal, middle-income family wouldn't ever have this trapped feeling I often get. I'm not referring to people who occasionally get 'broke' meaning they have no money in their wallets but still have a reservoir of virtual cash inscribed in their little bank books. Even if they do not possess that kind of money, many still have a family which can be sustained and not collapse should there be a sudden stoppage of income. And having parents that actually have money to loan them if they need it (whether or not the parents actually lend them, at least they do HAVE the reserve amount).

It makes me feel like a butterfly with my wings clipped. Money isn't everything, but it can bring you so much. Opportunities to let you grow, to see the world, to improve yourself.. To not worry every time there is something you really want and isn't even remotely difficult to achieve, but you just cannot dream to reach for it. I feel so restricted, so bound, so tied.

But I do not blame anyone or anything for my fate to be born not-as-affluent (euphemism). I have learnt much from being in this situation. Knowing to appreciate every small little thing that you have because you know how hard things come by... Working hard for something you want... Seeing how other people take things for granted and vouching that you will always be humble... I believe I have seen more of the world than the average Singaporean youth and I thank my life for that.

Life is unfair when it comes to the ease and comfort which people live their lives, but experience and empowerment wise, I guess I've got the better end of the stick.

My challenge for now is to be magnanimous and forgiving towards factors that perpetuate or worsen the conditions I'm in, tipping the equilibrium that we have all been striving hard towards maintaining. I'm still wondering if it is beyond the boundaries of my humanity to not feel the resentment and yet be positive about it, but I'm learning.

I'm still human.